October 25, 2009 - Sunday attending Diginity -Metro's 35th year mass and wine and cheese party

while i have gotten out and about 12 times this month today was special as i got to go to the dignity -metro's 35th anniversary church service.



for those of you who don't know about dignity it is a GLBT catholic church service. due to the hierarchy's views with in the church on the GLBT they meet in rented space in an Episcopal church. other groups meet in other rented space be it the friends meeting houses or the unitarian churches.

although i have attend their events or masses before, this one was held in the main church itself instead of a side meeting room. so this was a first to attend a mass in the main church building itself. so today was a special day for me as diana as well as dignity -metro.

since it was a beautiful fall day in nj i chose to wear my black floral skirt (no pantyhose), pink 3/4 sleeve shirt, brown wedges and tan mesh purse. carrying my black leather jacket for latter in the evening.

the mass it self was special in that each person brought a flower to the service which during the mass were brought up by that person to form a full bouquet.



this represented how each of us contribute to the world around us to form the bouquet of life.



we had a deacon from st Georges where we meet give the homily which sort of ties into the sermon. as she described herself she is an African American, also a woman who is a lesbian so she understands the challenges of the glbt community. she read an excerpt from a bishops' (who is rather outspoken) letter who said he is no longer going to be part of the discrimination toward the glbt. he will no longer be part of the rhetoric or hypocrisy of those who claim to be doing gods work yet discriminate by misquoting and hiding behind the bible.
as she said " it is not those people or them" because we the world are "them" so the discrimination of "them " is actually "us".

after wards there was a wine and cheese party as well as a collection of food and clothes for the needy.





as i sat around a table i meet a couple (man and woman) who it turned out to be the PARENTS of a young man who just graduated from college as an arts major who is gay. i was sooooo impressed with how supportive of him they were. and i don't know if he fully realizes yet just how lucky he is to have such caring parents who were attending a GLBT event because of their love of him.

he is also lucky in that it is a newer more accepting era. i don't think i could have been THAT open with my parents back 30 years ago . even with the loving and supportive parents i have (i told mom the year before she passed) it was only 4 years ago (when i first started going to the dignity group ) that i discussed it with my parents. so times have changed a bit. i was lucky in that she said "so we still love you" (although dad is kind and loving he is more "don't ask don't tell")

so all in all it was a nice day!

hugs
 Diana

October 20, 2009 - Tuesday random thoughts

today i just had some inner thoughts about how fortunate those of us have been who actually are able to get out and about as our fem (if MtF or visa versa if FtM) side.

as i read the blogs and the notes of my online friends like kim or suzi  i realized how lucky we are. and although we wish we could dress and get out even more often than we do (most of us would prefer 24/7 as i understand it) there are still many who can not due to family commitment, fear, and governmental pressure in other parts of the world. i often think of those sisters and brothers wishing they to could somehow gain the courage to do what we do.

like the usa economy we worry and complain about how little we have and how we want "more now" , as a friends son coined the phrase, but we really do have so much as compared to other parts of the world where they can't even get the basics like clean drinking water.

to those who can, i wish you courage to get out and attempt to blend into society as transgendered. to let your inner beauty shine through and let the world see your inner self. a smile goes a long way to dispel a scowl  from a passer by. but remember to be accepted is a give and take situation. one must "give " a bit by attempting to dress to fit the occasion in order to "get" acceptance. ie in guy mode one usually wouldn't wear a tuxedo to the grocery store nor only the bottom  half your pajamas by them selves. so it goes with dessing in fem. in most places there are lots of woman one only need look around and study what they are wearing at a given time of day or on a given day of the week to choose clothes and hair styles that will blend in. for example here in nj this past summer i saw lots of gg woman wearing short jeans skirts in a variety of colors . also many wore pretty capries with pretty ties on the leg and trimmed in embroidery.  so while many woman have gone for a male grudge look there are still many that dress neatly but somewhat feminine. so look around when in the food store or in the mall thee is a whole education out there just waiting to be absorbed.
one can start slow go to a newspaper store several towns away and just buy a newspaper around halloween ( you can always blame it on a holiday party) then work your way up to the mall. the hardest part will be getting out of the car those first few times. and remember  at least  in most places in the usa it is not against the law to be transgendered.
i wish you courage and success.

hugs
  Diana

October 9, 2009 - Friday narrowly avoided neighbors at local coffee shop

well here is an interesting situation.



i went to the local coffee shop for a very late lunch (6pm) or rather a very early dinner. i was starved having missed lunch. (the above photo is what basically what i was wearing only with tan sandals and a white cami instead of pink.) i usually position myself in such situations to keep an eye somewhat on the door for anyone i know who doesn't already know me as both selves or at least diana. as i neared the end of my meal (after sharing diana photos with the waitress who know both selves) in walks my business neighbor and his wife.  aggghhhh panic sets in. i quickly hale the waitress and explain that this neighbor doesn't know about diana so she blocks their view as i pay the bill and zoom out the back door where i was thankfully parked for a change. whew.

next day i went back and tipped her 5.00 more. she says "relax even i didn't know you weren't a genetic gal i actually asked the other waitress who was waiting on the woman in that section. 
the hardest thing is not to panic in such situations. so that you "don't blow your cover"
and since i always want to "make things right" i always forget that ie. in this situation even the waitress who knew me didn't recognize me so  why should the neighbor. if i had panicked it would have "blown the cover" and made it worse this way it sort of "flew under the radar without detection. but it is really really hard to stay calm and collected.

anyway i still needed to go the the a&p 2 towns away for the fish i wanted ( i still won't go into my next town a&p dressed!) which i did and then mcdonalds for ice cream take out.

there was a time i would have run home with my "tail between my legs" but not these days, i just move on to the next errand on the list.
so you can see even with all the time i spend dressed blending in with the gg's out and about in the world doing errands and lunch i still occasionally have "those moments".

hugs
  Diana