Friday, December 25, 2009

Dec. 25th 2009 - Merry Christmas everyone!

Merry Christmas everyone! i just want to wish every one a Merry Christmas!

i am actually writing this on sunday dec. 27th as i haven't had the chance even to check reg e mail since the 20th as i have spent the last week dropping off little gifts of tea and my company calenders to the maintenance workers secretaries and customers  in the buildings where the customers are.
i learned along time ago that that one needs to show appreciation to the maintenance workers and secretarial staff as they remain even though the boss management changes.
these are the people  that make sure my purches orders get the proper attention and cheerfully unlock the doors the the rooms where my repair work awaits me.
and although 30 buildings may not seem like alot during this time we had a, unusual for dec. in nj, major snow storm along with a previous week of rain and high winds. so it slowed my progress.

my friends must now hate me as for the first time in many years the christmas cards were all written out and mailed by the day after thansgiving! NEVER am i this early. usually i write them just between xmas and new years LOL.  of course my famialy usually has theirs done by the second week of dec. LOL. but then again the only time i was on time for anything was literally the day i was born (at 7pm - explains why i am up so late writing this LOL)

anyway with all this i found time to dress and shop as diana. even went to toys r us for a guitar for a gift for the salvation army giving tree. this young lady wanted a pink guitar and even though at work i deal with that company, they were out of stock so i had to go to a kids toy store to by it. and guess what.... they had one in stock ! yea . like it was ment for me to buy it. when i noticed the box had been opened and explained the reason for the gift they offered a 10% discount. so i went back to buy the other gft the girl wanted. then i went back home and dug out a spare set of strings and a tuner, wrapped both gifts to take back to the a&p - salvation army giving tree drop off point.
while i was at the store i started a conversation (as diana) with a lady and her teen son he was verrrry bored which saddened me when i found out she was shopping for a the family they had adopted this season to gifts to.  she was very nice and so it was sad that here son had missed the point of the season  while he stood there whining.

so you think its easy finding a phone booth to do the super girl change while it is 25 degrees out with 30mph winds. LOL  for the first time i needed boots , tights ( instead of pantyhose) long wool skirt sweater and a long dress coat this early actually even before winter starrted almost since thanksgiving. most gg's don't wear this heavy of clothing till mid january in nj. but almost all the gg's i noticed were wearing tights and boots early on this year.  so no on e got to see my pretty festive red toenails this dec. LOL in fact it was soooo cold that even with the electric blanket i finally gave in and went for flannel  pajamas :-( instead of the flannel lined satin nightgowns i usually wear in nj winters.  at least it has warmed up to a balmy 35- 40ish and the winds have stopped so i have been able to return to the nightgown and satin sheets. ( i had even given in and went back to floral cotton sheets due to the cold)

anyway hope everyone had a nice christmas!

hugs to all

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Dec 13th 2009 - checked out getting ears pierced

 checked out getting ears pierced last week i went to the mall in male mode to ask about getting my ears pierced ( i had already talked to my ear Dr. about doing this also in male mode in case i got in trouble)

i went to the Clairs store as one of "the girls " recommended it.

i found it takes 4-6 weeks to heal (or it can close up in 5 min they said) leaving in the same earring. they you can change them but noooo danglers for a year. waaaaaah

but the clerk was very understanding and looked at the diana photos with out batting an eye. it turns out she has all sorts of piercings on her so she knew her stuff.

she also showed me some magnet earrings which look pierced. i bought 2 sets of stud looking  earrings with the magnets about 7.00 a set.
i told her i felt like a kid in a candy shop. *giggle giggle*
she said this is a common feeling in their store LOL
she was soooo cool to talk with.

the irony is that the manager said she had told her son in hs he couldn't get his ears pierced even though the entire football team had them done. she told he he could have magnets though!

when i got to the car i put on one of the magnet sets and after a guick supergirl change 
felt very pretty.
the magnet stayed very well but.... it they get away from you  look out as they wonder away from were they drop to find some metal surface to attach themselves to. LOL

i think at some point in the future i will get them pierced. we will see which self wins out. usually it is diana and she wants them pierced!!!
but i have to take others in my life into consideration suh as residing with dad,  the looks from customers since  remember they can't come out for 6 weeks.
my original thought was to get them pierced and then remove the earing for short periods during the healing process. oh well .... the best laid plans. LOL

meanwhile i have have the sniffles (a cold) , and cracked both thumb nails *sniff*

this is frustrating as it took me since july to get them to grow just over a 1/4" of an inch actually 5/16" to be exact and my goal was 1/2"

first i tried to salvage them by using a silk wrap but  that only last a day before catching on something. and since i could see it starting to give, i decided it was time to cut them *sniff*  so for now there goes my pretty and long nails
the sad thing is that in july they were growing nicely at 1/4" and in a moment of insanity over an incident involving a ts gal who doesn't care about her appearance ( i always get depressed after talking with her as i always come away feeling ugly after interacting with her no mater how good i felt before talking with her. i always come away depressed  agggghhhh  and this time in july it caused me to cut my nails)

any way got to get back to christmas shopping
hugs to all

Thursday, November 26, 2009

nov. 26th 2009, happy Thanksgiving and comming out to my aunt 2 weeks ago

i just wanted to wish all of my friends (especially in the usa) a happy Thanksgiving!

i spent Thanksgiving with my family(as my other self). my aunt and dad joined me  in going to a restaurant in somerset nj called O'Connor's. this is a wonderful restaurant in a 1790's farm house with it's original barns. the weather was beautiful almost Easter like. it sort of made it like goin' to grandma's house only on a larger scale. the manager told me they usually cook 200 turkeys which comes to about 500 lbs of turkey!

this was also special in that 2-3 weeks ago i shared my being transgendered with this favorite aunt. first i asked her if she still loved me ether way and she said yes! then i asked her if she would like to see some photos of me as diana ( i assured her they were not risque). she looked at the photos of me as diana and just said wow quite a difference!

so after the restaurant we returned to her home where after some desert we started talking about nails and nail polish ( which we have discussed over the last several years before i came out to her). the topic turned to rough fingers and how to put on panty-hose with out ruining them. she told me she uses gloves and i told her about the mesh gloves from Victorian trading post that i use.
it was so nice to be able to openly discuss such topics with her with out covering and masking the topic. it made me feel like we were just 2 woman discussing secrets over coffee. ( my dad by this time had moved into the living room for a nap LOL) my aunt and i had slipped so easily into the topic that i think it even surprised her somewhat. LOL

once again i hope you all had a happy thanksgiving

Friday, November 20, 2009

Nov. 20th 2009 - where to donate gently used wigs

where to donate gentely used or new wigs today i thought i'd put a plug in for a worthy group.

how many of you reading this (especially my friends in the transgendered groups) have bought wigs over the years and after you got it home and used it once found that it really wasn't just right for you.

as i looked accross some wigs i had bought awhile ago and had only used once or twice ( since i didn't like the style or coloration) i was getting ready to clean hose and toss them out. then  i remembered seeing a request for such items from the american cancer society.
so i called them via the "look good feel good program at 800 395 5665
they can connect you with your local group who will tell you where you can ship them or drop them off locally. obviously they only want still usable, gently worn or new wigs.

the new jersey location is 767  northfield Ave. W. Orange, NJ 07052

here they can refurbish them so they can be given  to woman  patients recovering or  undergoing treatments.

on a side note i read recently in a nursing journal the meaning of the word patient which means "sufferer".

i felt this to be such a worthy use that i felt compelled to comment on it here. this is so much better than throwing out a perfectly good wig just because we can't return it or don't need it.

hugs Diana

Sunday, October 25, 2009

October 25, 2009 - Sunday attending Diginity -Metro's 35th year mass and wine and cheese party

while i have gotten out and about 12 times this month today was special as i got to go to the dignity -metro's 35th anniversary church service.

St Georges

for those of you who don't know about dignity it is a GLBT catholic church service. due to the hierarchy's views with in the church on the GLBT they meet in rented space in an Episcopal church. other groups meet in other rented space be it the friends meeting houses or the unitarian churches.

although i have attend their events or masses before, this one was held in the main church itself instead of a side meeting room. so this was a first to attend a mass in the main church building itself. so today was a special day for me as diana as well as dignity -metro.

since it was a beautiful fall day in nj i chose to wear my black floral skirt (no pantyhose), pink 3/4 sleeve shirt, brown wedges and tan mesh purse. carrying my black leather jacket for latter in the evening.

the mass it self was special in that each person brought a flower to the service which during the mass were brought up by that person to form a full bouquet.

flower bouquet & inside st George's at dignity mass

this represented how each of us contribute to the world around us to form the bouquet of life.

flower bouquet at dignity mass

we had a deacon from st Georges where we meet give the homily which sort of ties into the sermon. as she described herself she is an African American, also a woman who is a lesbian so she understands the challenges of the glbt community. she read an excerpt from a bishops' (who is rather outspoken) letter who said he is no longer going to be part of the discrimination toward the glbt. he will no longer be part of the rhetoric or hypocrisy of those who claim to be doing gods work yet discriminate by misquoting and hiding behind the bible.
as she said " it is not those people or them" because we the world are "them" so the discrimination of "them " is actually "us".

after wards there was a wine and cheese party as well as a collection of food and clothes for the needy.

me Diana at dignity anniversary mass

me diana also at dignity anniversary mass

as i sat around a table i meet a couple (man and woman) who it turned out to be the PARENTS of a young man who just graduated from college as an arts major who is gay. i was sooooo impressed with how supportive of him they were. and i don't know if he fully realizes yet just how lucky he is to have such caring parents who were attending a GLBT event because of their love of him.

he is also lucky in that it is a newer more accepting era. i don't think i could have been THAT open with my parents back 30 years ago . even with the loving and supportive parents i have (i told mom the year before she passed) it was only 4 years ago (when i first started going to the dignity group ) that i discussed it with my parents. so times have changed a bit. i was lucky in that she said "so we still love you" (although dad is kind and loving he is more "don't ask don't tell")

so all in all it was a nice day!


Tuesday, October 20, 2009

October 20, 2009 - Tuesday random thoughts

today i just had some inner thoughts about how fortunate those of us have been who actually are able to get out and about as our fem (if MtF or visa versa if FtM) side.

as i read the blogs and the notes of my online friends like kim or suzi  i realized how lucky we are. and although we wish we could dress and get out even more often than we do (most of us would prefer 24/7 as i understand it) there are still many who can not due to family commitment, fear, and governmental pressure in other parts of the world. i often think of those sisters and brothers wishing they to could somehow gain the courage to do what we do.

like the usa economy we worry and complain about how little we have and how we want "more now" , as a friends son coined the phrase, but we really do have so much as compared to other parts of the world where they can't even get the basics like clean drinking water.

to those who can, i wish you courage to get out and attempt to blend into society as transgendered. to let your inner beauty shine through and let the world see your inner self. a smile goes a long way to dispel a scowl  from a passer by. but remember to be accepted is a give and take situation. one must "give " a bit by attempting to dress to fit the occasion in order to "get" acceptance. ie in guy mode one usually wouldn't wear a tuxedo to the grocery store nor only the bottom  half your pajamas by them selves. so it goes with dessing in fem. in most places there are lots of woman one only need look around and study what they are wearing at a given time of day or on a given day of the week to choose clothes and hair styles that will blend in. for example here in nj this past summer i saw lots of gg woman wearing short jeans skirts in a variety of colors . also many wore pretty capries with pretty ties on the leg and trimmed in embroidery.  so while many woman have gone for a male grudge look there are still many that dress neatly but somewhat feminine. so look around when in the food store or in the mall thee is a whole education out there just waiting to be absorbed.
one can start slow go to a newspaper store several towns away and just buy a newspaper around halloween ( you can always blame it on a holiday party) then work your way up to the mall. the hardest part will be getting out of the car those first few times. and remember  at least  in most places in the usa it is not against the law to be transgendered.
i wish you courage and success.


Friday, October 9, 2009

October 9, 2009 - Friday narrowly avoided neighbors at local coffee shop

well here is an interesting situation.

a summer outfit

i went to the local coffee shop for a very late lunch (6pm) or rather a very early dinner. i was starved having missed lunch. (the above photo is what basically what i was wearing only with tan sandals and a white cami instead of pink.) i usually position myself in such situations to keep an eye somewhat on the door for anyone i know who doesn't already know me as both selves or at least diana. as i neared the end of my meal (after sharing diana photos with the waitress who know both selves) in walks my business neighbor and his wife.  aggghhhh panic sets in. i quickly hale the waitress and explain that this neighbor doesn't know about diana so she blocks their view as i pay the bill and zoom out the back door where i was thankfully parked for a change. whew.

next day i went back and tipped her 5.00 more. she says "relax even i didn't know you weren't a genetic gal i actually asked the other waitress who was waiting on the woman in that section. 
the hardest thing is not to panic in such situations. so that you "don't blow your cover"
and since i always want to "make things right" i always forget that ie. in this situation even the waitress who knew me didn't recognize me so  why should the neighbor. if i had panicked it would have "blown the cover" and made it worse this way it sort of "flew under the radar without detection. but it is really really hard to stay calm and collected.

anyway i still needed to go the the a&p 2 towns away for the fish i wanted ( i still won't go into my next town a&p dressed!) which i did and then mcdonalds for ice cream take out.

there was a time i would have run home with my "tail between my legs" but not these days, i just move on to the next errand on the list.
so you can see even with all the time i spend dressed blending in with the gg's out and about in the world doing errands and lunch i still occasionally have "those moments".


Wednesday, September 16, 2009

September 16, 2009 - Wednesday if it is wednesday it's back to the beach and georgies!

f it is wednesday it's back to the beach and georgies! 3pm i started out planning to go to the beach so i wore my yellow t shirt and white jeans skirt with white sandals and white purse. on the way i changed into my black maillot bathing suit now with the previous mentioned outfit over it.when i arrived in ocean grove, nj .... the wind was VERY strong out of the north east. i could seen beach erosion on the dunes and sand had been blown across ocean ave. obviously not a beach day aggghhh. non the less i walked down to the water wearing a hoodie. the waves wee like the 'ol pictures of the angry atlantic ocean. it is hard to believe that i have seen it as flat and calm as a lake at times! needless to say i quickly came off the beach and ate my late lunch in the car (4pm)  now i needed a place to change out of the bathing suite. so it was off to the auditrium restrooms in the center of town.
i switched to my yellow cami , white jeans skirt and white sandals along with the hoodie. now it was starting to drizzle along with the high winds even though i was 3-4 blocks from the ocean. wow!
i decided since it was still early i'd drive 4 towns south to the end of spring lake passing all the mansions and turned around when i arrived at seagert. a pleasant drive now that it is out of season as each town along the shore line is about 1 to 1-1/2 miles  long. when i got back to the grove i decided to stop by and old friend who knows me as diana. his partner passed on several years ago and now he lives year round in the grove in a verrrry cute cottage.
when i left his place it was now 8:45pm and time for dinner. so with all the wind i ended up back at clancy's restaurant. they have very good manhatten clam chowder ( i am told there potato soup is excellent too.) and a burger.
as i left clancys i couldn't stand freezing in the cool wind any longer so i quickly changed on the fly like super girl into panty hose (yuck to early in sept. for such warm clothing), my longer floral skirt, my dusty rose shirt with 3/4 sleeves, my new brown strapy wedge sandals, and my new sand and brown purse and black leather jacket.

the new shoes and purse

another view after and evening of singing karaoke.

when i arrived at georgie's the entrance is on the other side of the building out of the wind so as the place filled up i started getting a bit warm since the skirt is lined. to compound this i decided that since it was keroeky night i'd sing one number. i chose "close to you" accompanied by the carpenters recording. this was my first experience actually participating by singing on the stage. the gal who runs the keroeky is verrry helpful. but i couldn't allways hear myself singing aaand... i didn't realize for sure that she could change the pitch or key of the song so that it would have been better for my voice part. since as my male self i am a 1st baritone or second tenor i ended up switch between my guy range and my diana somewhat falsetto range. and what i finally figured out is that no one really cares what song one chooses to sing. nothing is to hip or dorky. and in the future i will ask for a lower key if need be. at any rate it was a good first experience. and another first as diana. i had hesitated at first since i knew that it is hard to project the upper range as diana and didn't know how they'd take it if i sang in a somewhat male range. now i know no one cares! it's like everything else in the trans world it is a matter of building confidence!
but remember i was a preforming arts/music teaching major. i had gotten into college initially on trumpet with a minor on voice. although i continued to be voluntarily in chorus i dropped the voice minor after the first week. so being in front of people or a class is my thing but it also means i am hard on myself too. keroeky preforming looks easy until one is up on the stage!

but after reading my friend kims' blog and how she talks about always looking for a keroeky place in her travels for work i decided i really wanted to give it a try . especially since i was dressed up a bit in my fall outfit!

by 11:30 i had to leave for home since i had a 1 hour drive north. on the way i stopped at the Chesquake bay rest area to use the restroom and get a cup of coffee.
all in all it was a nice day in spite of the weather!


Saturday, September 12, 2009

September 12, 2009 - Saturday my new hairdo and shopping with a gg friend

today i want to show off my new hairdo. sadly the beauty supply has told me that the old one is no longer available  so please tell me what you think.

me diana in unique thrift 91109

also here is a photo of a new gg shopping friend i met last week when in male mode and today i had the good fortune to bump into her again when in diana mode with my new "do"

me and shopping friend laura in uniuqe thrift 91109

isn't she and her hairdo the cutest? anyway she asked to get a photo of me and my new "do" so i am able to share this with you.
the shopping trip was a short one since i was actually headed still as diana to pick up salmon at the a & P food store 2 towns away.
there i narrowly missed bumping into a colleague who doesn't know of diana.
so it sort of took the fun out of food shopping as diana when i had to constantly had to be on the look out for him and his family.

all in all it was a nice afternoon though.

Friday, September 11, 2009

September 11, 2009 - Friday a day of reflection and remberance!

a day of reflection and remberance! let us never forget that very sad day a few years ago when the unthinkable happened.

i plan to spend a few moments in prayer and inner reflection about the memories of that eventful day.

i am still in shock years later that on a day that had been weather wise one of the most gorgeous fall days turned into one of the darkest in history!

spend a few moments today in inner reflection so that we may never forget those who died on that sept morning at the hands of a coward and his pirates. like all cowards he wasn't brave enough to do the deed himself he sent others to do his bidding. and like all  cowards he hid after he sent others to their death. in fact he hid below ground like a lowly worm. which is an insult to compare him with a worm because at least genetic worms  serve a purpose in life while pirate cowards don't . a coward in the true sence!

again may we never forget that day!


Thursday, September 10, 2009

sept. 10, 2009 or another wednesday at the beach and back to georgies' for keroeky

although today was overcast and somewhat cooler and breezy i had decided i would continue with my plans of wed. at the beach. so off i went to my favorite beach of ocean grove nj.

on the way i changed to diana for the one hour drive. i chose my yellow cami and white jeans skirt with white sandals and white purse. i know it is after labor day but i don't want to hear anything about the wearing of white after labor day! LOL

before i arrived just to save some time since it was allready afternoon i stopped at a gas station to use the rest room and change into my black maillot bathing suit.

although when i got to the beach it was breezy i was prepared though with my wind barrier .

this is basically 4 broom handles with points ground on one end with canvas drill attached with the posts at about a 3 foot spacing to block the sept winds on the beach.
i poked my feet in the water but the ocean was very rough out of the north east hence giving a southerly pull to the water. usually one notes a northerly pull so this was a bit less common. either direction is cause for caution.

so i went back to my beach chair and broken open my lunch and shortly after decided
to erect the wind barrier. during this time a few other hearty soles arrived and several actually went into the water.
i had decided that with the cool breeze and the overcast i didn't want to end up in a wet bathing suit.
to further compound the situation the beach crew had locked the rest rooms at the beach already since it is now out of season.

so when nature called i pulled up stakes and got in the car and drove the 3 blocks to the much larger rest rooms next to the 7000 seat auditorium which thankfully were open. here i could also change out of the bathing suit back into the cami and skirt.
by now it was about 730 pm and time for dinner. with the cool air i decided some soup would be nice so off i went to clancy's bar restaurant.
at the nj shore many of the best restaurants started as bars many years before but have excelent food. no touristy bistros for this girl just good solid food! and since i don't like the taste of alcohol the value was excellent! i asked for a table in mary's section as she is the best waitress in the place. for about 10.00 i had soup, a large hamburger, fries and a beverage. as good a price as fast food and i had great service with a better meal!

inspite of the chill in the air i had a craving for some ice cream. so i drove one town south to bradly beach to the beach plumb ice cream shop. lucky they hadn't closed yet for the season. they make their own .i had the coconut and it was wonderfull. ummm ummmm good!

before i could move on to the next stop i had to change from the skirt to capri's since there was such a chill in the air. along with a hoody over my cami.

next i drove 2 towns back north to asbury to Georgies glbt cheers type bar .

although it was wed it was before 9pm so the kereoky hadn't started yet. shortly though jill who runs the kereoky arrived. since it was slow she started preforming herself singing her heart out. she was the cutest thing since she had dressed in a back to school/fall/halloween theme. her hair was up in 2 pony tails with a short plaid skirt tall heels and a shirt with a ghoulish cartoon that said "what type (blood) are you?" as she sang she'd flip those pony tails back and forth for the sheer fun of it just like a kid!
with an hours drive home again by 11pm it was time to drive home (remember i only had soda).

half way back i was getting tired so i stopped at the parkway rest area to stretch, use the restroom and get some coffee.

in spite of the overcast it was still a very nice day as the beach can be very picturesque on a Grey very late summers day.


Thursday, August 20, 2009

aug 20th my birthday!

aug. 20th today is my birthday!

today is my birthday! yeaaaaa! :-)

at my request my aunt and my dad took me (as my other self) to a fun place cheeburger cheeburger. they have great home made onion rings and fresh cut potatos for french fries and many diff varieties of milk shakes. they even took my picture when they brought out the ice cream cake we brought!

yesterday i treated myself and took off and went to ocean grove for the day. this was the first time this summer since we have had cool and sometimes rainy weather in july.
it was a perfect day! even the ocean was warm and calm with the tide out around noon.
all in all a very nice day!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

aug 15th or why can't we pass in fem 100% of the time?

aug 15, 2009 or why can't we pass in fem 100% of the time? why is it there are those days you can "pull it off" in passing in fem, those days you can't and then like yesterday, there are those "in between days" when you can pass for the majority of the folks out there accept one or two.

i wore my white capri's , a pink cami, white sandals and white purse.
summer pink cami and capri's

i went to subway for a sandwich, next home depo for some small hardware supplies ( i needed to replenish my supply of repair plates after fixing my comericial property fence which protects my privicy from their parking lot next door and a ele timer for my pool filter) and from there i went to walmart , which is the same mall as home depo to get a replacement skimmer for the pool. as i walked down the seasional isle with my best "girly gestures and walk i see a couple of hispanic woman give me "the look" .... you know "the smug look" ... which says i know what you are! but you see if i don't know the person i can just smile and ignore it which is what i did. but i had to wonder just what gives it away when know one else seems to notice?

the other interesting thing that happened is accross the womans clothing section (of course i had to check out any new fasions while i was here) i saw a gourgous short blond gg about my age in her 50's. she was absolutly stunning! and here is where the confussion of the 2 selves kicks in. the guy side of me wanted to go start up a conversation and get to know her and of course see if she was single (this is how i know i don't want to transition *giggle giggle* but, of course that was out of the question since i was in fem. aggghhh and the same moment the fem side of me stood and looked at her from afar so that i could learn from her in terms of clothing , and movements so i could be just like her. or rather wanting to actually be her. ahhhhhh so you see the confussion i am talking about.

i know other transgendered folks such as my friend kim have talked about just that confussed , mixed emotion upon seeing a gourgous gg.

at eather rate it was late 10pm and i needed to go home to a very late dinner.

this was the 6th chance i got this month to go out in fem. my goal has been 8-10 days bper month this year or 1/3 of the time dressed since am single and sleep in femine satin chemeses.

by the way the satin sheets have worked out just great. i originally thought i 'd slide right out of bed but one doesn't, accept the pillows keep trying to get away LOL.

hugs to all

Thursday, August 6, 2009

aug 6 2009, pool distroyed by racoon & good fish pond upset too but we caught him!

ets see how my day started today
i awoke to find that a raccoon had decided to see what  the inside of my little pool looked like... upon doing so  he left 2 sets of claw marks on the top edge of the pool, which on my little quick set type pool is where the upper air ring of the pool is. when the ring is deflated all the water runs out of the pool! :-(  gerrrrr , needless to say i was not to happy to find this mess to deal with this morning!

and of course he didn't stop there he decided to wander down to my gold fish pond to create some more havoc there (even with the chicken wire and boards over it). now you have to understand there are easier yards to wander through since i have a 4 foot chain link fence all around mine. but the gold fish pond would be his undoing since i had a trap set with the one think he couldn't resist .... sardines. needless to say i caught him and animal control came and took him away! this is the 3rd one i have caught this summer terrorizing my good fish.  at the beginning of the season the first one actually ate one and a half gold fish and left the rest out on the ground along with a artificial water lilly  next to them! now you may say "poor racoon he has rights too"  well so do my gold fish . they have a right to live too!

in inspecting the damage to my little 3 foot pool i realized it wouldn't be feasible to repair the air chamber portion of the pool . besides i have had it about 5 years having bought it on sale at the a&p food store .  so next i called around to replace it and found Lesley pools had a slightly larger diameter but still 3 foot one in stock. this cost about 140.00 but came with a larger filter than the first one (which i had replaced with a larger used one some one gave me last year) so that will be this weekends project to reassemble my little pool.

    Saturday, July 4, 2009

    july 4th, 2009 or happy 4th of july!

    happy 4th of july everyone!
    you can also find me at "my space" as well where the majority of my current log post will be.
    Diana me - Blogs

    Monday, June 22, 2009

    june 22, 2009 - photo link test and has it stopped raining yet

    my current project is seeing if this blond understands how to link a photo LOL
    this gives me something to so while i await the stop of the rainiest june in nj on record! of course then it will be time to squeak in cutting the grass ha ha.

    attending the grand opening gala, wearing a spring look!
    well it looks as though the rain has stopped briefly and it is time to cut the grass if it has dried out some. then if i have some left over energy i might go shopping. meanwhile i'll share one of my favorite skirts with you from a couple weeks ago at a friends gala celebration of her new satellite store.

    so far the only way i have found to back up everything is to slowly cut and paste it page by page into a word document. the problem has been that the photos sometimes overlap the words as one adds to the back up copy but, the text back up was the most important thing since i have the photos on disk and at flicker.

    please note you can thank my friend kim huddel for showing me how to make this photo thingy work.
    whew to much for this blonds brain. you can almost smell my hair burning from all this thinking. giggle giggle

    Thursday, June 4, 2009

    June 04, 2009

    as i think about the closing of yahoo 360 i don't know weather to be angry or sad.
    i can't tell you the amount of time i have wasted on getting ready for the move. especially with moving the contacts ( although my contact list is VERY important so i really don't consider it a waste of time) due to the fact that no provision accept one at a time as each must be moved and invited individually. i can't believe that a well known company like yahoo couldn't do a little better job than that.
    on the other hand..... we are darn lucky that they didn't just decide to shut it off one morning. at least they are giving us some time to transfer everything.

    here is a question can anyone tell me the easiest way to back up all my files before the move?

    anyway on a happier note i did manage to get out and about as diana for the last 3 days. yea. i am attempting to start the month out right by putting my prettiest shoe foward. or something like that. LOL and today i actually i stopped into a small competitor's store as diana just to see their new (last years move LOL) location. they haveonly meet my other self once or twice in the last 10 years or so but i think the lady knew my facial profile. but she never let on. heh he we chatted for a bit about the finacial situaltion in our field . i was wearing my longer pretty black floral skirt and lace trimmed white short sleve blouse with black flats and a black leather jacket again as it had gotten chilly again with the afternoon rain. which felt better after yesterdays humid spell. i also stopped at a few stores along the way.

    thanks for letting me vent

    Tuesday, June 2, 2009

    June 02, 2009 - thank you and i am going to miss all of you at the ol' 360 site

    first i want to say thank you for all who have viewed my page over the years.
    when i first started i NEVER thought i 'd end up with over 12,000 views . never!
    it really is interesting in that my other selves blog has only received about 340 views so it shows me just what kind of network we have had here. why yahoo wants to dispose of something that popular is beyond me!

    one cool recent thing is that Mozilla's recent upgrade allows me to check spelling as i go along . yeeeaaaa to a poor speller (no it is not just my light hair LOL) this is a dream come true.

    if you wish to keep in touch please tell me where you will be. at least try to set up the new yahoo site to have a connection.

    meanwhile i managed to get out 11 times last month ya- hoo (no pun intended LOl) including yesterday and today for some shopping.
    the interesting thing is that yesterday in walmart i had a woman who spoke broken english ask whether or not i had any children. he he. as we chatted about the blouse she was looking at. since it was 100% cotton she need one size larger that they were out of . isn't that all ways the way. :-)
    yesterday it was warm enough on a weekend to get away with my white jeans skirt and pink "t" shirt along with white sandals and white purse. first it was McDonald's for some lunch then to the paper store for the Sunday newspaper ( i still must have the funnies on Sunday cause i like them and also because i all ways say at least i know it is fiction vs the rest of the paper these days that might be truth or fiction i am not sure which LOL)
    next off to home depo for some beaded lamp chain to hang a laminated sign for the use instructions of a larger recently acquired rider lawn mower my dad uses, then off to target where i tried on and bought 3 white tennis type shirts ( good price at 9.99 ea vs those lands end ones at more than 2x that price over at sears.) but didn't find the pack of white sox i wanted. and finally over to Stop and Shop for a few supplies (like chocolate chip cookies and milk LOL also the new mosqueto deterent to control our unofficial sate incect the mosquetto LOLect. ) at sop and shop they are all ways friendly to me. in fact if i don't stop in for a couple of weeks they ask if all is ok? that is a nice feeling for such a big store. this and a&p are delight full stores to shop in . they are much cleaner and friendlier than most of the local Shop Right stores. which to me the local ones are starting to take on the look of big dirty unfriendly, and and rude warehouses .
    to day since it cooled back off and since it was the look of the work day i wore my black longer floral skirt and a short sleeve white blouse black flats and a black purse along with back to dark panty hose.
    the drape store was allready closed when i arrived at 8:30 a(closed at 7pm - what happeneed to stores that stayed open till 9pm?) so off to pay less shoes. our local one is very limited i hae never found anything in my size of 10- 10-1/2. so over to pathmark next door to look for the no nonsence brand of socks i have been looking for. here i hit paydirt. found the package of white sox i hae been looking for since drug fair was bought by walgreens and most have closed their doors.
    i think we have just about every store ever invented along our local highway. LOL
    hugs to all and please let me know where everyone can be contacted in the future

    Saturday, May 30, 2009

    may 30,2009 - yahoo is closing 360 agh

    well here it is the day that we have all heard rumors about for over a year the closing of yahoo 360.
    this is a fine "kettle of fish"
    for quite awhile i have wanted to back up all my blogs some how so i guess this will just push me into acting on that.

    so many hugs to all i have meet on 360. let us all find a way to stay in touch. it has served a purpose in that it has helped us to grow in many ways to reach out to others who think as we do.

    hugs to all

    Thursday, May 28, 2009

    May 28, 2009 nature attacks my goldfish pond!

    about 2 weeks ago i reopened my goldfish pond.
    now mind you it is not very big. aprox. 2-3 feet in diameter, 1-1/2 feet deep with a small waterfall.

    we have a 4" fence around the entire yard and live in the suburbs.

    anyway a week ago i had just mucked it out and retrieved the fish from a friends greenhouse pond. they had grown to the size of small "sunnys" . now i have hiding places for these fish ( a small ceramic pedestal ledge) plus several imitation waterlily's and a live water hyasent as well as a few underwater anacurius plants.
    i should have known if they weren't comming up when i put some food in that smething was "spooking" them but, i fell for the ol' getting used to the surroundings excuse.

    well today i went out to check on them after breakfast as usuall and the pond had been ravaged by a racoon. this critter took out the fish and threw them on the ground a few feet away as well as placing a imatation water lilly next to them. he ate 1-1/2 fish and left the rest on the ground were i found them dead! true i had let the water level go down to a foot due to splash from the waterfall and since it is 100 feet out back i usually only refill it once a week.

    now i have delt with these critters before.

    2 years ago when a racoon got a bit to friendly with my garbadge cans next to the house and didn't chase away to while i clanked a spoon hitting a mettlel pot from the window above i hired an extermanator for 100.00 to catch and remove the critter before he moved into my house and took over the refeg and the remote control for the tv.
    he was about 40 lbs and old but smart and agile. the extermanator says they looooove sardeens
    well yeppers that's true.

    last year i had the extermanator back when the water lillies got tossed out of the pond. and sure enough we caught a teenager racoon and later an adult racoon.

    many years ago we had some kids on the next block that jumped the fence and spear fished ruining the liner (these kids were't the brightest and i found that they had dumped the bait box at a sporting goods store and came back asking if the owner had any more fish while the police where there LOL)

    but we have endured.

    now you can say poor racoon but i say my gold fish have rights too!

    so for now i once again have chicken wire over the pond (this spoils it for all the other anamials that come for a drink there) and a trap set.

    so although summer is not officially here yet, if i am batteling the racoons ... summer has begun!

    hugs to all

    Friday, May 22, 2009

    May 22, 2009

    There are those days that no matter how accustom one is to dressing in fem and "passing" with out detection..... you just can’t seem to pull it off and today was just that sort of day.

    to pass one must dress appropriate for the time of day and it depends as to whether it is a week day, during summer when school is out, or back in the spring when most people are dressed in office wear. Remember for the most part we need all the help we can get in order to blend in . What a gg can get away with is a given and no one will question that she is a gg. but anything sightly off kilter gives us away.

    since it was warm today I had no choice but to choose summer wear even though the time of year still dictates that since it is a week day that one should be in pantyhose and office wear. as I said it was to warm for that since it was in the high 70's.
    anyway I’ll share my days events with you.
    it started out with a stop at "look twice" consignment shop to say hi to the group there. with the sudden change in outside temperature I decided to wear my white jeans skirt , yellow "T" shirt and white sandals and purse.
    since it was near 7pm they were getting ready to close so I left. I was already starting to feel like an ugly gal or rather a guy in a dress day!
    but does that stop me nopers!

    i figure i got all dressed up i might as well grin and bear it.

    I continue on to buy some wig shampoo. I stop at the first beauty supply and find they are out of the shampoo i wanted aggghhh this means getting back in the car and going around the turnaround and across the road to the beauty supply on the other side of the highway.
    but before I leave the first beauty supply I notice out of the corner of my eye a former neighbors' child now grown up at the counter... agghhh so I quickly leave. the only thing is that I have been seen... rats. I am already in the car when she comes out and waves at me. now I have only one choice but to get back out of the car and explain myself . she actually tells me she recognized me from the side view so we talked while I explained. she said it didn't matter. but it didn't make me happy since I still needed to go find the shampoo. now I was really feeling like a ugly gal-guy in a dress!
    but again does this stop me noopers again.

    so it's onto the next beauty supply where I buy the wig shampoo. here they are not as friendly but they had what I needed . at this point I decide to change back to smaller gold looking clip on type earrings verses the screw back danglers I had been wearing. I figured they were drawing too much of the wrong attention.
    next stop a cosmetics store where it went much better. here I bought some new mascara. (after having used the one year old used only once mascara at the grand opening event i attented a couple of weeks ago. almost a big mistake. note all such makeup should be replaced after 3-months. aggghhh. I also matched and bought an eyebrow pencil in maybaline since the clinique brand seems to cause my eyebrows to itch. since I have exema I cant' take the chance on being itchy scratching or I really will be an ugly woman who would be reminiscent of the alligator person in the ol' side show.

    prior to that I stopped at unique thrift store. here I bought a pink spaghetti strap shirt.

    the earrings had somewhat disrupted my confidence level to begin with. couple that along with my untanned, slightly hairy arms being exposed further compounded the problem. even though I have light brown arm hair that I have thinned down to fit into both selves it still unnerved me a bit.
    so one can see that confidence is very important in blending in . even though I have been able to get out shopping about 8-10 times a month lately something as simple as the change of seasonal clothing can disrupt my confidence. amazing!


    Friday, May 8, 2009

    May 08, 2009

    this evening i attended the grand opening of "look twice"'s new annex in the neighboring town of fanwood nj. they are subleasing part of a jewelry store called crown jewelers where they will sell high end costume and estate jewelery as well as new upscale designer hand bags.

    they gave away scarves (from the basket behind me) to all the woman shoppers who attended the grand opening gala tonight.

    i had brought some of the wonderful ruggala and cookies made by Swiss pastry shop in scotch plains (where look twice has a very upscale consignment shop.) Swiss pastry uses only real chocolate and other real ingredients (no preservatives). the owner is a master pastry chef, so everything is not only tasty but beautiful as well! this is the last of a dying breed of small town bakeries.

    it was a wonderful event.


    Tuesday, May 5, 2009

    May 05, 2009

    just a quick note i didn't know if anyone had seen the great articals on 6 personal stories in the 2nd quarter 2009 vol.8 no2 dignity usa newsletter.
    they actualy dedicated the entire 11 page newsletter this time to the Transgendered. it is well presented and well done.

    there are 6 great short life stories about both transitioning and non transitioning transgendered people and the roads they have traveled to get where they are today.

    i am not sure if the stories are on line but you can check at


    Thursday, April 23, 2009

    April 23, 2009

    i must share something that happened as my other self the other day.

    i had a 1st date as my other self with a gg the other night and although we seemed to have alot in common little did i realize we had so much in common and although later she said there was no spark, but that was not the point, after i mentioned about being transgendered she tells me she has a TS mtf daughter and that last year they spent a month in tiland for the surgery! what are the odds of all the people to go out with and all the people in the area... well you could have knocked me over with a feather.

    i know that devine intervention had to come into play here as the odds are waaaay to small for pure chance.

    and i the words of a song "i know we will not pass this way again" (as in our paths will not cross again) or..... will they....

    and in as much as i say like the burt backarack song "i'll never fall in love again "..... until the next time. LOL


    Sunday, April 12, 2009

    April 12 2009

    Happy Easter everyone!

    whoo hooo spring is finally here!

    hope you don't mind that i have repeated last weeks photo but i really liked this outfit and since i took my dad and aunt out as my otherself to o' conners resterant in sommerst nj i didn't get to wear a pretty easter outfit on easter. no mater it is still windy/chilly here so not many gg's wore pretty frilly outfits eather.


    Sunday, April 5, 2009

    April 5, 2009

    hi everyone

    although it is palm sunday i wanted to show everyone the inside of elaina's consignment shop called "look twice" in scotch plains nj. elaina has soooo many beautiful items and believe it or not all affordable .
    the pink blouse i am wearing came as part of a suit (see last years easter outfit) from this shop. as did the pink faux pearls in this photo. in the backround you can see a few of the beautiful clothes in elaina's shop. and everyone is welcome in elaina's shop.

    i wore the suit you see in the photo due to the fact it has been a chilly windy spring her in nj.

    i stopped in here on my way to the the glbt dignity church service for palm sunday up in maplewood nj
    on my way home from the service i stopped at home depo looking for a pretty comode seat (one in pink and one in blue) for my aunt and chatted with a couple beautifully dressed gg's who had also stopped in home depo on their way home from church. only the younger gg's hadn't changed into comfortable dressy walking shoes for walking in H.Depo.

    but of course when i got back to the car it was a quick change back to the pretty open toed 2-1/2" healed shoes ahhh i loooove dressing pretty.... * sigh* (if i wanted to dress frumpy i'd just use guy clothes LOL)

    finally it was time to head home to change back *sigh* and take my dad out for palm sunday dinnner (we went to the local diner)