Monday, July 26, 2010

July 26, 2010 - feeling old and ugly

feeling old and ugly
today was a land mark in that it represents the most days in a month i have manged to go out in public as diana in one month! (23) yeaaaa! as one may remember my goal has been between 1/2 to 3/4 of the time as diana meaning 15-19 days per month.

most days i feel very fem and manage to blend in but today....

i got to the food store (stop and shop) and everyhing sort of went down hill first the lady on the deli was off and the other guys were not cooperative.  in fact the one kept saying " this guy " ,meaning me the customer, wants a  un flavored (called natural or traditional) oven roaster. then when i asked for coldcuts i was told that they were "trying" to clean up. true it was 20 min  before the deli closed (store closes 2 hours later though) but i had CALLED before i came  (which i usually do this in my best diana voice and the lady always says hello girlfriend diana) and got the same treatment "hay so and so it's "THAT GUY" calling that always wants a chicken on tue.
(do i really look or sound like a "GUY" when i am out as diana?) 

it turns out that they didn't get enough to sell me a plain oven roaster  only the usual extra's of the  flavored one's like bourbon or honey. usually they don't sell and get thrown out!
ok so tomorrows' (tue) dinner menu is now changed.

next i check out the banana's which looked like they had been brused by dropping or rather throwing them off a truck.

what is it with suppiers these days? don't they have ANY pride in their product or do they all feel they can get away with dumping poor quality left overs and overruns on the large chains and school accounts figuring that no one will complain since they have to pay the bill anyway!
it has gotten sooo bad the at the  local a & P that the produce manage has taken to e mailing a photo of the newly delivered rotted bananas to the supplier EVERY DAY! and the supplier still doesn't seem to care still sending the junk. it is almost as if the supplier is smugly proud of the fact that they can get away with shipping junk and getting paid for it!

onto the lettuce. the first head i picked out  i handed to the produce guy as it was mushy rotted!  good grief!  and soooo it went!

by this time i was ready to walk out and leave my partially full cart behind but that would not give me milk for my cereal in the morning!

non the less i persevered anyway feeling OLD AND UGLY!
just another GUY in a SKIRT!

now mind you i had a pretty yellow T shirt and a knee lenght white jeans skirt with brown sandals. and my hair was fixed in the same manor as when i have received complements on it from total strangers. yet i wasn't in the proper mind set. so i sort of felt guy-ish. you know one of those days when you can't pull it all together. i am told from gg friends that gg's have these days from time to time. even the really good looking ones.
but that is of little comfort when it's happening  to one's self.

i really do have much to be grateful for :
i live i a for the most part  an accepting part of the country let alone a tolerant part of the world.
so far i have had enough food in my stomach and a roof over my head.
yet when i get a bit overtired .... i kind of take on a poor me routeen. such as the afore mentioned situation or winning that business has slowed down with work  for me and many others in my area, ect.
sooo i guess one out of 23 days is not a bad average for this month!
esspecialy after Saturdays' event and blog entry!


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