May 16, 2008

the interesting thing on my last entry is that the next day i had to return the restroom key to the sub shop i had inadvertently left with so i was chating with the owner and explained my to self to the owner whom i know. he said" my worker recognized you from your smile as your otherself but the other one , his niece, didn't" he had no problem after i showed him photos of diana at mcdonalds! and we figured it was really because i allways order the same type of sub sanwich at subway and sit in the same place that gave it away LOL ohh well....

on other notes i should have a bit more diana time since the closing sale of my dieciesed aunts house on wed. has finally gone through (after a delay eith the buyers , buyers buyer! who forgot to sign some paper last week sorry i think you have to be blond to follow that giggle giggle) the owner in her late 50's moved from a retirement village as she doesn't like all the restrictions and looovvves my aunts house which makes me feel great!

in the mean time i have moved my spoke wheeled 1967 MG Midget from my aunts house storage to a mechanic to "wake it up" he has worked on my mg when i can't since i bought it in 1974 . unfortunatly the body is worn out so now i begin looking for a good original replacement as this is the ideal year with roll up windows , folding top and the largest engine without polution control. although i have personally restored several 1920's cars myself including welding and paint i have never restored a unibody and i am squimish about that so i fear i must bid adu to my original little midget. this has left me on the horns of a delema as i would like to salvage the original but some of the bulk heads have rotted or move the mechinacals to another better body tub or to replace the car. there where many made and one needs to be about my size 5'7" 165 lbs to fit a midget so although many people look to buy them they end up not after trying to get out of one. if anyone knows of one available please let me know.
anyway thank you for letting me ramble a bit and "think out loud" giggle giggle
ooooh this is to much thinking for my blond brain. giggle giggle

hugs
 Diana

March 3, 2008

well today was another first in that i wore womans slax as diana for the first time!
it was damp and chilly out so although i had panty hose on i decided to give it a try.

so along with my teal stripe shirt blouse (you can't see they are stripes in the photos it sort of looks like a lightening bolt pattern tee heee) and my diana hair along with my black pumps and black leather blazer i decided to do my sat. errends. first to the post office where on worker knows both selves so i show off my outfits during my visit. (this photo is in the postal "store" in my town )
next to the thrift store in the next town.
on the return trip i stopped at lord and taylor for more "take the day off" by clinique the purple bottle. this is wounderfull stuff as make up remover goes. i also picked up a very light eyebrow pencil.
then a stop at my usual subway sub shop where the staff didn't know me and didn't bat an eye. then over to the tailor's for my alterations and drycleaning.
next to sears to return some panties that weren't right (these had a seam that was to high and rough which made for an uncomfortable tush) while there i bought a couple nylon night gowns with cap sleave and finally over to k mart to compare and try on bike type shorts to see if i had bought the right size yesterday also a dish pan to wash my diana hair in which should be easier than running it ounder water. i also want to try out the wig shampoo. while there i found 2 pairs of tan slax that fit and were on sale so natuarlly i had to buy them. as you know anything i like will dissapear. eather some one buys the only one left by the time i return or.... the company some how finds out that i like their product so they eather discontinue it or change it so i can't use it. LOL

anyway now i'll need a day to rest up as all that shopping and thinking giggle giggle (rememer i'm blond) exsausted me.

hugs
 Diana

April 30, 2008

hi everyone

i finally got chance to get dressed and go shopping only for an hour.
actually earlyer in the day as my othere self i got brave and didn't use a sweater vest over my reverse button womans teal stripe cotton shirt/ blouse with blue slax reverse fly and womans flats. the only thing missing was my hair. as i have even found a pale pink lipstick and had done both my toe nails and finger nails in pale pink yesterday morning. ahhhhh it makes me feel soooo wounderful.  i have come to grips with keeping them rounded to about 3/16" which seems to work for both selves. essspeciallly since gg's seem to be keeping their nails shorter with the tight economy.

later when changing into diana wear i decided to be creative and use the same shirt blouse with my grean skirt and black leather blazer and the same black flats. sorry no photo it was last minuet as usual. but it looked great.

meanwhile since i only had an hour to go shopping i have wanted to check out the store called "Avenue"
i just want to say what a great experiance i had at avenue clothing store yesterday!
not only were they courtious and friendly (sort of like shopping with one of your girlfriends giggle giggle)  but they have larger sizes of shoes up through get this... i think size 13!
unfortuniatly the cute strapy pale pink one's i loved were't in half sizes or rather they were out of all half sizes in that model (even on line but you can return mail order to the local store instead of ahipping) but the interesting thing is that they are all in wide withs so a 10 was to wide for me when i usually take a 10 - 1/2 wide or 11 but here i needed a 9-1/2 wow makes a girl feel beautiful.
they stock dress sizes 14 and up

then i popped next door to five guys hambergers to say hi to the assist manager whom i had mentined and shown diana photos to the day before. she was sooo cool about it that she said she might have extra new shoes she might give me . unfrotuniatly she was off.

like chocolet i never seem to get enough time as diana i allways want more. giggle giggle

hugs
 Diana

April 23, 2008

my dear friends
well it finally happened i walked into the food store as my other self and bumped into a friend of mine from the car hobby in town who didn't know of diana.
he asks " one of the students of his son in law saw me as diana going into walmart recognized by my car (i drive a plain jane buick but with themed license plates that are common) and that his student asked the son in law and he asked the father in law .... if i was dressed differently.... and although i hesatated i just answered yes and explained that i am transgendered (we fully understood each other between the lines though upon answering). he said he didn't care as he had a close friend that is gay since high school (even though i said i am not gay) but he did mention that his wife and or daughter thought that there was something different about me..... and now it makes me wounder just how many people have surmised locally and profesionaly. 

luckly i am not currently working as a teacher although most of my work is related to several schools. aggghhhhhh oh well i can't change it. the pandora's box and "can of praverbial worms" have been opened with no way of putting it back into the box. bo hoo

luckly i had kept a log last year and have reallized that it is not pratical to dress more that 5-9 times a month so this year i have decided to dress as diana when i can but not push myself more than 5 days a month as it takes to much energy to do so. it takes a lot of energy to remain beautiful for 4-8 hours at a time LOL as well as a lot of energy swithcing back and forth.

first there is allways being observant with who notices you. then there is the time it takes to do even simple make up . the time it takes to change even if you could find that "phone booth" like superman giggle giggle. then there is being carefull not to rub or wash your face once the makeup is applyed. also remembering you have a wig and not a hat on so as not to remove it upon entering a building. then there is being carefull not to damage your panty hose or stockings, make sure you have transfered your keys and wallet to your purse, and remembering to install your upper body inserts.
now when you change back remembering to remove most of the make up and remembering to fully remove the make up before bed, removing the jewelery, find another phone booth giggle giggle ect.
whew it exsausts me just thinking about it. giggle giggle ... it's to much thinking for my blond brain.
later that evening after the "question" i just wanted to revert back and stop being diana but i know that is not possable eather.
soooo my question is how would you have handled it? (remember my dad still has to live in this small town)

April 22, 2008

this week has been crazy we had the town home inspector return to my aunts house. i couldn't sleep all night on sunday night . i couldn't go through this all the time with these power trip inspectors. it takes to much out of me physically. today i needed to sleep in to recharge from " the fear of the inspector" strain on my body.
but we passed obtaining the need certificate of occupancy so that is good.

today i had my mg midget sports car flat beded to a great sports car mechanic i have used over the passed 20 years but i am afraid the damp garage has taken it's toll on the poor car. so i will probably look for a better bodied one in the future.

the house buyers lawyer is behind on his paper work and soooo the closing will be maybe next week. aggghhhh.
the buyer is chafing at the bit to get in and our lawyer is ready so we await her lawyer....

hence no Diana time this week accept for sleep time also with the warm weather woman's wear gets harder to hide oh well.

anyway that's all for now
hugs
 Diana

April 17, 2008 and thoughts on a more fem. voice

one thing that seems to be the biggest challenge for most of our transgendered sisters is the voice.

so as a former music teacher (although an instrumental band specialist i was always involved with choir as well and class voice was a breeze for me) i thought i'd add my thoughts to the challenge and suggest what has helped me.
a suggestion on the voice (that i have found works) first i talk softer (make every one else really listen!) and i shift into what's called the bottom of my "falsetto" voice. since i am a baritone or second tenor in singing voice it puts my voice into a woman’s 2nd or lower alto voice. when i first started to do this i would speak and really support the sound from down at my belly button and try to enunciate clearer since you can't force this sound as it is basically impossible.

also you will find you need to open you mouth and throat (somewhat flattening your tong in the process on the vowels) to allow the softer falsetto sound to come out and project better.

these are just good singing techniques applied to speaking (although falsetto can be hard on the voice i have been told if used for very long periods of time when forced to loudly but if supported properly and done somewhat softly i have found it to be ok and i have heard mixed thoughts on this anyway)

of course if you are a second bass as your other self and very deep in tambour this won't be all that helpful. but remember there are those gg's that really do have a deep voice and thinning hair and really are taller than 5'7" so take heart.

also i have found being over tired makes it hard to pass as i find it takes a tremendous amount of energy to go out in the public in fem because you are always on your guard for negative feedback.

just remember a smile for negative looks goes a very long way toward disarming what you think is a disapproving look. sometimes the other person is thinking about something totally different than us and is sort of looking our way but more through us than at us.
so take heart and enjoy being out in the world !
hugs
Diana

march 29, 2008

well by now i wounder if everyone has eaten the ears off their chocolete easter bunny? or do you eat the toes first? giggle giggle!

i have been meaning to share something this blond finally figured out. one needs to clean out not only their inbox in their 360 blog but also their sent box as well in order to respond to incoming messages. i was only cleaning out my inbox but i stil couldn't get reply messages to send as it said inbox full. then.... i figured out one must clean out the sent box as well to get the new messages to go through.

also it is interesting to note that on the few days i must wear male undies as well i now am starting to feel as if i am cding in reverse as if i were a FtM cd. because these days even if i can't wear the hair i have been able to wear femanine undies. and many times with femine slax , shirt and flat shoes. even as my other self. add to this a pink satin flannel nightgown. well you get the picture.... and hence why i feel as if i am cding in reverse when i wear male clothes. giggle giggle!

which reminds me (yawn) it's time to change into my flannel linned pink satin nightgown.
hugs
Diana